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January 31-February 1, 2004 ROOM BY ROOM – a home makeover! Selected THE FAMILY ROOM – parenting without a net! !ANYONE WHO IS A PARENT KNOWS THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE IDEAL AND THE REAL! *** Proverbs 22:6 “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” [New International Version]
HOW DO WE TRAIN OUR CHILDREN TO BE WHAT GOD MADE THEM TO BE?
1. BY UNDERSTANDING OUR CHILDREN! *** Psalm 139:13 “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.” [NIV] o SANGUINE: desires fun; is outgoing, relationship-oriented, witty, easygoing, popular, artistic, emotional, outspoken and optimistic! o MELANCHOLY: desires perfection: is introverted, task-oriented, artistic, emotional, goal-oriented, organized and pessimistic! o PHLEGMATIC: desires peace; is introverted, unemotional, strong-willed, relationship-oriented, pessimistic and purpose-driven! o CHOLERIC: desired power or control; is strong-willed, decisive, goal-oriented, organized, unemotional, outgoing, outspoken and optimistic! -- Florence Littauer, PERSONALITY PLUS ! Every child has a different way of processing information: TACTILE! AUDIO! VISUAL!
! HOW DO WE UNDERSTAND OUR CHILD? o PRAYER! - James 1:5 “If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all…and it will be given to him.” [NIV] o OBSERVATION! - Proverbs 20:11 “Children show what they are by what they do; you can tell if they are honest and good.” [Today’s English Version] o LISTENING! - Proverbs 20:12 “The Lord has given us eyes to see with and ears to listen with.” [TEV] o CONSULTATION! - Proverbs 12:15 “Fools think they need no advice, but the wise listen to others.” [New Living Translation]
2. BY CREATING HEALTHY SELF-ESTEEM! *** Proverbs 22:6 “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” [NIV] *** Psalm 139:1,14 “Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—and how well I know it.” [NLT] *** Eph. 2:10 “For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so that we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” [NLT] 7. ILL – last weekend…Lead Like Jesus Seminar…”what would you wish that you had heard your parents say more…? 8. EVERY PARENTS GOAL IS TO HELP THEIR CHILDREN KNOW: WHO THEY ARE! - WHAT THEY ARE! - AND TO LIKE THEMSELVES THE WAY GOD MADE THEM! 9. Now, how do we do this…HOW DO WE CREATE HEALTHY SELF ESTEEM? A. THROUGH ATTENTION! 1. I’m talking about QUALITY and QUANTITY time! 2. Stop and give eye contact…or explain and then do it ASAP… 3. Turn off the TV…Computer…Video Games…meals…games…etc… 4. Eph. 5:16 “Make the most of every opportunity you have for doing good.” [LB] 5. YOU CAN’T KNOW YOUR CHILD WITHOUT SPENDING TIME WITH YOUR CHILD! B. THROUGH AFFECTION! 1. Physical affection…kisses…hugs…touches…hand holding…MAYBE NOT YOUR FAMILY BACKGROUND…! 2. Cards…notes…emails…phone calls…ILL – phone call from Ashley brightens…! 3. 1 Thes. 4:9 “We do not need to write you about having love for your Christian family, because God has already taught you to love each other.” [NCV] C. THROUGH APPRECIATION! 1. Saying: “Thank you”… “good job!”… “I couldn’t have done it better!”… 2. Proverbs 12:25 “An encouraging word cheers a person up.” [NLT] ***HOW DO WE TRAIN OUR CHILDREN TO BE WHAT GOD MADE THEM TO BE? BY UNDERSTANDING OUR CHILDREN; BY CREATING HEALTHY SELF-ESTEEM; AND: 3. BY REDIRECTING A REBELLIOUS NATURE! 1. Proverbs 22:6 “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” [NIV] 2. No child is perfect (unless they are your grandchildren…!) 2. Training or focusing the way your child should go or becoming what God made them to be sometimes requires redirecting…bring back into line a child who rebels…AND ALL CHILDREN WILL REBEL! 3. One of the ways this word “the mouth of his way” was used was putting a bit into a horses mouth and using it to guide the horse from the way it wants to go to the way it needs to go! 4. This is the parents responsibility…part of training…DISCIPLINE! 5. Proverbs 22:15 “A youngster's heart is filled with rebellion, but punishment will drive it out of him.” [Living Bible] 6. Proverbs 29:17 “Discipline your children; you'll be glad you did — they'll turn out delightful to live with.” [Message] 7. Next week…more about this…! 8. We’d better do this when we are young…the older…more difficult…! ***HOW DO WE TRAIN OUR CHILDREN TO BE WHAT GOD MADE THEM TO BE? BY UNDERSTANDING OUR CHILDREN; BY CREATING HEALTHY SELF-ESTEEM; BY REDIRECTING A REBELLIOUS NATURE; AND: 4. BY TEACHING THEM TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEIR ACTIONS! 1. We live in a society where people don’t accept responsibility… 2. Behavioral Psychology of the last 70 years has paved the way…it’s my environment …it’s my culture…it’s my family…it’s my bad experiences…. 3. Galatians 6:7-8 “You cannot fool God, so don't make a fool of yourself! You will harvest what you plant. If you follow your selfish desires, you will harvest destruction, but if you follow the Spirit, you will harvest eternal life.” [Contemporary English Version] 4. Training means teaching a child to accept responsibility for their actions…. 5. So how do we do this…FIVE COURSE-CORRECTING QUESTIONS: 1. WHAT DID YOU DO? A. Not “why did you do it…?” Forces them to articulate what…did! B. I want them to understand what the action was that was incorrect! 2. WAS IT RIGHT OR WRONG? A. Allow no excuses… B. This will force them to make a moral choice…moral decision…! C. Why is it wrong? 3. HOW COULD YOU HAVE HANDLED IT BETTER? A. How could you have done to pleased God… B. You may have to offer some suggestions here…but only after they try…! 4. NEXT TIME, WHAT WILL YOU DO? A. What would bring honor Jesus…what would bring honor the family… B. Trying to help them see a positive alternative…guidance…training…! 5. SHOULD YOU FAIL, WHAT IS A FAIR DISCIPLINE? A. Now you’ve given them a stake in their actions…responsible… B. Don’t do this unless you are willing to follow through…don’t give in…teaches them nothing… 6. Luke 2:52 “Jesus grew in wisdom and maturity. He gained favor from God and people.” [God’s Word for the Nations]
I took a piece of modeling clay and idly fashioned it one day. And as my fingers pressed it still, it moved and yielded to my will. I came again when the days were passed, but the bit of clay was hard at last. The form I gave it, it still bore, but I could change that form no more!
I took a piece of living clay and gently formed it day by day. And molded with my power and art a young child’s soft and yielding heart. I came again when the years are gone; it was a man I looked upon. He still, that early impress bore and I could change him, never more. |