May 17, 18, 2003        AS FOR ME AND MY HOUSE!          Isaiah 64:8

TRADING SPACES…A Model for Parents!

*** Mt.5:48 “Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” [New International Version]

*** Isaiah 64:8 “Lord, you are our Father. We are the clay, and you are the potter. We are all formed by your hand.” [New Living Translation]

$ The simple secret of great parenting: TREAT YOUR KIDS AS GOD TREATS YOU!

1. I MUST UNDERSTAND MY CHILDREN!

*** Psalm 103:13-14 “The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him. For he understands how weak we are; he knows we are only dust.” [NLT]

*** Pr.24:3 (TEV)“Homes are build on the foundation of wisdom and understanding.”

*** Proverbs 22:6 (NIV) “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.”

*** Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go [and in keeping with his individual gift or bent], and when he is old he will not depart from it.” [The Amplified Bible]

$ GUIDE THE CHILD TO GODLY LIVING BASED ON THAT CHILD’S PERSONALITY, APTITUDE AND ABILITIES!

DO I UNDERSTAND MY CHILD’S PERSONALITY, APTITUDE AND ABILITY?

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2. I MUST ACCEPT MY CHILDREN!

*** Ps.145:8 “The LORD is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love.”

*** Ps. 127:3 “Children are a gift from God....” {Living Bible]

*** Ro.15:7 (NIV) “Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.”

I PUBLICLY AND PRIVATELY ACCEPT MY CHILD AS GOD MADE THEM!

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3. I MUST DISCIPLINE MY CHILDREN!

*** Hebrews 12:6 “The Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as his child." [New Century Version]

IF WE DON’T DISCIPLINE OUR CHILDREN IT PROVES 2 THINGS:

A. THAT YOU DON’T LOVE THEM!

*** Pr.13:24 (LB) “If you refuse to discipline your son, it proves you don't love him....”

B. THAT I CONTRIBUTE TO THEIR DESTRUCTION!

*** Pr.19:18 (LB) “Discipline your son in his early years while there is hope. If you don't you will ruin his life.”

*** Mark 9:42 (NLT) "But if anyone causes one of these little ones who trusts in me to lose faith, it would be better for that person to be thrown into the sea with a large millstone tied around the neck.”

è The PURPOSE of Punishment is to inflict Penalty!

       è The PURPOSE of Discipline is to promote Growth!

è The FOCUS of Punishment is on the Past!

       è The FOCUS of Discipline is on the Future!

è The ATTITUDE of the parent in Punishment is Anger!

       è The ATTITUDE of Discipline is Love!

è The RESULT of Punishment is Fear, Guilt, and more Anger! è The RESULT of Discipline is Security!

*** I Jn.4:18 (NIV)“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”

$ THREE WORDS THAT DESCRIBE GOD’S DISCIPLINE:

A. CALMLY - Pr.29:11 “A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.”

       *** Ep.6:4 (LB) “...parents. Don't keep on scolding and nagging your children, making them angry and resentful. Rather, bring them up with the loving discipline the Lord...with suggestions and godly advice.”

B. CLEARLY - Ep.6:1-3 “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother"--which is the first commandment with a promise--that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."

C. CAREFULLY - Col. 3:21“Parents, don't come down too hard on your children or you'll crush their spirits.” [The Message]

AM I DISCIPLINING MY CHILD AS GOD DESIRES?

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4. I MUST EXPRESS LOVE TO MY CHILDREN!

$ THREE SPECIFIC WAYS WE CAN EXPRESS OUR LOVE!

A. THROUGH AFFECTION - THE WAY WE TOUCH!

*** Ps.145:9 (LB) “The Lord is good to everyone, and his compassion is intertwined with everything he does.”

B. THROUGH AFFIRMATION! - THE WAY WE TALK!

*** Ps.145:14 (NIV) “The LORD upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down.”

*** Eph. 4:29 (NLT) “Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.”

C. THROUGH ATTENTION - THE WAY WE GIVE TIME!

*** Ps.145:18 (NLT) “The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on Him.”

AM I EXPRESSING MY LOVE TO MY CHILDREN?

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5. I MUST BE CONSISTENT WITH MY CHILDREN!

*** Ps.145:17 (NIV) “The Lord is righteous in all of His ways....”

*** De.6:7 (N IV) “Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”

A. ADMIT WHEN YOU’VE MADE A MISTAKE!

B. KEEP YOUR PROMISES!

*** Ps. 145:13 (NIV)“The Lord is faithful to all of His promises....”

$THE # 1 CAUSE OF BITTERNESS IN CHILDREN IS BROKEN PROMISES!

DO MY CHILDREN FEEL SECURE IN MY CONSISTENCY?

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*** Mal. 4:6 (NIV) “He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children and the hearts of the children to their fathers...!”