Rejection. Do you like that word? I can tell you I certainly don't. Is there is any factor that has contributed more to the pain we see in the eyes of those we encounter everyday than the pain stemming from rejection? If so, I don't know what it is. Whether it is a painful divorce, losing a job, being dismissed by a friend (a.k.a. dissed) or never feeling included, unfortunately we all know the pain of rejection.
Why is rejection such a powerful tool? Why does it drive us to act so foolishly? Why does it cause us to withdraw and feel sorry for ourselves? The answer lies in the purpose by which we were created. Christians have long recognized that God created us as relational beings. The first and foremost relationship that He created us for was the relationship He wants to have with us. The problem is that we have sought to fulfill this desire for a relationship with Him in an illegitimate fashion. Whether intentional or unknowingly, we have tried to replace God with one another. On top of that, not only have we all felt the sting of rejection; we have all played the part of rejecter. So the vicious cycle of relational pain stemming from rejection continues until we discover the true order of relationships.
There are two questions that every believer must settle as soon as possible.
This is crucial. What devastation often pervades our lives, whether we are young or old, rich or poor, saved or unsaved, when we are unsure that we are accepted by other people, much less God. Amazingly, so many Bible-reading believers, whether they are among the "committed" or the "sluggish" move through life without the precious fact found in the Gospel message that every believer can rest and build their life upon:
"Having predestined [1] us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted [2] in the Beloved [3] ."
This passage communicates the overwhelming message of the Gospel:
When we learn to agree with God about our acceptance in Christ, this becomes our new environment for growth. Gone are the days of fear, [7] worry and demands for what we think we need to get from others. Gone are the days of the fear of failure resulting in a sense of worthlessness. We can rest in the wonderful acceptance of God. When this happens, our faith becomes a fixed attitude, once it begins to rest in this wonderful fact. Then our lives can be, if necessary, "rejected by men but chosen by God and precious to him." [8] This is the steadying influence most believers are in need of today. Over a century ago, J.B. Stoney wrote: "The blessed God never alters nor diverges from the acceptance in which He has given us because of the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. The truth is that God has not altered. His eye rests on the work accomplished by Christ for the believer." [9]
How is it that we alter our environment to that of acceptance? First of all, we have to remember that when we sin we need not fear that God has changed His position towards us. He has not changed, but we have. We are not walking in the Spirit but in the sinful nature. Even so, God remains faithful, even when we condemn ourselves.
Secondly, God's basis for acceptance must become our basis for acceptance. There is none other. Many times we want to find acceptance on our terms. We reason, "Well, I've been faithful at worship and have done my quiet times," and we feel OK about things. But if we are ever unfaithful at worship or skip out on quiet times, we sense God's disapproval in our lives. In cases like these, we have to remember the only truth about our acceptance. We are "accepted in the Beloved." Since our Father is fully satisfied with His Beloved Son on our behalf, then there is no reason for us not to be. Our satisfaction can only spring from and rest in His satisfaction. It is from God to us, not from us to God.
It is sad, but most believers actually reason just the opposite—from themselves to God. When all is going well, and God seems to be blessing, then it is that they feel He loves and accepts them. But when they are failing, and everything seems dry and hard, then they feel that He does not love and accept them.
How can this be? If our acceptance before God is found in Christ alone, then there is nothing about our performance to commend us to God. In addition, Scripture makes plain that most of our true spiritual development comes through failure. Thank God, He has accepted us in His Son, and upon this FACT we must rest our faith.
I was pulling weeds one day in my backyard when I noticed a miniature tree growing next to a larger one. The miniature didn't stand more than a foot off of the ground.
I thought, "That should be easy enough to pull out of the ground."
I grabbed a hold of the bottom of the stalk and began to tug. When it wouldn't come out of the ground, I gave it a good yank. I pulled hard enough for the stalk to begin to move downwardly out of the palm of my hand and pretty soon I was grabbing nothing but air as I stumbled backwardly. Now I was determined. I would resort to tools. I retrieved a spade from the shed and began to dig. When I finally got to the bottom of the tree, I was amazed that the roots on this little tree were actually longer than the tree itself.
Most of the weeds were easy to pull because their roots were shallow and weak. I wonder how many of us have a faith that is the same way. We have focused for so long on the results of the Christian life that the roots have suffered. Then someone comes along and criticizes us or something happens that discourages us and pop, out we go. We are uprooted from our faith and back to our original state of worry, fear and demands. If our roots for growth are God's grace, [10] then it is appropriate to test our roots on this third day of our second week. Use the chart at the bottom of this page to measure your answers to the following questions.
How did you do? Most of the God's answers to those statements run contrary to our typical way of thinking. This should serve as good news because our typical way of thinking is usually the problem. The real question for the Christian is: How does God think? How does God feel? Our particular question for today is: How does God think and feel in light of Christ's finished work on the cross? The answer is all over the messages Christ delivered and the New Testament letters. God thinks that we are in fact a new creation. This is the blessing that we enjoy because we know Christ. In terms of priority, Paul says that this new creation is now the only thing that matters in God's eyes. [11]
Devotion to Christ is certainly important and even vital. But it is not first. What is of first importance is the blessing we have received from God of being a new creation. "To preach devotion first and blessing second, is to reverse God's order, and preach law, not grace. The Law made man's blessing depend on devotion." [12] Grace awards the undeserving, not the worthy. Our devotion surely follows God's blessing, but not always in equal measure. I have found that God's blessing far outweighs any devotion I could ever offer. What have you found?
Have we been afraid to really believe God on this point? Have some even been afraid to allow others to really believe Him? We must never forget that God's ways are not always man's ways. To some, it makes sense to live in constant fear because this is the only thing that spurs them to action. In fact, we can all think of many religions and psychologies that are dependent upon fear to keep their disciples in line. Fear, too, has a place in Christianity, but God has higher and more effective motivations than fear, and one of these is love. After a while, fear only produces apathy and numbness, but love thrives on love.
Many argue that for God to give us assurance and rest in His promises seems like playing with fire, making allowance for us to slack. But this kind of logic leaves God out of the picture. The truth is seen in thousands if not millions of God's truest disciples through the ages; those that have the deepest appreciation of grace do not continue in sin. Even more, while fear produces the obedience of slaves; love engenders the obedience of sons and daughters. Ephesians 6 asks us as Christians to "stand firm then." Until we as believers are absolutely and scripturally sure of our acceptance, we won't do much standing. "May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word." [13]
How wonderful and encouraging it is to know that our God has made it crystal clear in His Word exactly what His purpose is for each one of us. [14] Take a moment and read through the three scriptures that speak about our personal purpose in life.
So, in essence, our original purpose remains the same: to be like God in character. It's just that we have to be re-born into this purpose because of the sin Adam introduced into mankind. Our natural birth will not do the job anymore. It's been ruined for good.
If we were to break this purpose out in large pieces, what would the life of a believer look like? This is the subject of the purpose-driven life. A purpose-driven life would exemplify magnification of God, ministry with His gifts, membership in His family, maturity into His image and doing His mission. These are the results of the purpose-driven life. But what is the catalyst? How does this take place? This will be the question for tomorrow, but for now, take some time to think and pray through these issues.
It is one thing to know what God's purpose is for our lives, but it is quite another to know something of the "how" the purposes come about. Did you know that one of God's most effective means in the process is failure? In fact, one could make a case that failure is the main event for this process. How can this be true? The main reason is because God is trying to take humans, perpetual failures that we are, and align our real lives into the divine life that He has given us.
Most of us are simply frantic over the fact of failure in their lives, and we will go to all lengths in trying to hide it, ignore it or rationalize it. And all the time we are resisting the main instrument in the Father's hand for conforming us to the image of His Son! Failure where self is concerned in our Christian life and service, is allowed and often engineered by God in order to turn us completely from ourselves unto His Source for our life-- Christ Jesus, who never fails.
Instead of being frantic, we could learn to embrace our need and hunger of heart, for God says, "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled." [24] As we, in our utter need, consistently and lovingly look upon Jesus who is revealed to us in the Word, the Holy Spirit will quietly and effortlessly change the center and source of our lives from self to Christěthen we will learn for ourselves the delight in being able to say with sincerity, "I no longer live, but Christ lives in me." [25]
God has a natural law in force to the effect that we are conformed to that upon which we center our interest and love. Nathaniel Hawthorne brought out this fact in "The Great Stone Face." Then too, think of Germany some years ago, full of little Hitlers all because of fanatical devotion to a second-rate paper hanger! Here in our country sports heroes, pop stars, and political figures have all contributed in giving us a rising generation of young Michael Jordan's, movie stars, reality-TV wanna-bes, etc. What about us? If we are attracted to this present evil world, we become increasingly worldly; if we pamper and live for self, we become more and more self-centered; but when we look unto Jesus Christ, we become more and more like Him.
Norman Douty writes,
"If I am to be like Him, then God in His grace must do it, and the sooner I come to recognize it the sooner I will be delivered from another form of bondage. Throw down every endeavor and say, I cannot do it, the more I try the farther I get from His likeness. What shall I do? Ah, the Holy Spirit says, You cannot do it; just withdraw; come out of it. You have been in the arena, you have been endeavoring, you are a failure, come out and sit down, and as you sit there behold Him, look at Him. Don't try to be like Him, just look at Him. Just be occupied with Him. Forget about trying to be like Him. Instead of letting that fill your mind and heart, let Him fill it. Just behold Him, look upon Him through the Word. Come to the Word for one purpose and that is to meet the Lord. Not to get your mind crammed full of things about the sacred Word, but come to it to meet the Lord. Make it to be a medium, not of Biblical scholarship, but of fellowship with Christ. Behold the Lord."
There's an old hymn that has since been remade by several contemporary Christian artists. It says,
O soul, are you weary and troubled?
No light in the darkness you see?
There's a light for a look at the Savior,
And life more abundant and free!
Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.
Through death into life everlasting
He passed, and we follow Him there;
Over us sin no more hath dominioně
For more than conquerors we are!
His Word shall not fail youěHe promised;
Believe Him, and all will be well:
Then go to a world that is dying,
His perfect salvation to tell! [26]
This old hymn captures the idea of growth. It doesn't mean that the "things of earth" disappear or aren't real. It just means that they are less important than our focus, Jesus Christ. Why does this work? It only works if you know that you are loved and accepted by Christ. In other words, it will only work if you know the true, Biblical Christ.
There is one comfort in knowing that our failure is one of the main events God uses to make us into His image. We don't have to go try something new or buy some new product to help us. We live with the stuff of growth everyday. So the next time you go the wrong way on the highway and as a result get stuck in traffic, instead of calling yourself stupid, why don't you call upon the one who plans to make you more patient or thoughtful in the midst of the mistake? The next time you lose your temper, instead of sulking about your inability to conquer this weakness, consider looking to the one who plans to make you humble enough to confess this to your family and show them what it means to be a vulnerable person of God? What would happen if we really believed that we were accepted and that the trouble in our lives really is for the purpose of making us more like Him?