Recently I called about changing insurance coverage on my car. I had to answer a series of questions to help determine what kind of insurance rates I was eligible for. There are some questions that are seemingly minor, but others that carry a great deal of weight. Among those, the question about collisions is a big one. The inquisition went something like:
"Have you had any collisions in the last five years?"
"Yes"
"How many collisions?"
"Two"
"Were you at fault for any of those?"
"Yes"
"How many were your fault?"
Here was the turn in the conversation I didn't like. Why was it so important to find out whose fault the collisions were? Why does it matter? The truth is I was feeling defensive because I was at fault and didn't want to own up for my responsibility at that point in time. I also knew it was going to hurt my bank account. It is interesting, however, to pay attention to how we respond to situations where there may be blame involved.
We live in a world where we need to know who is at fault. If something goes wrong at work, on the basketball court, the war on terror or our marriage—we need to know who is to blame. While a healthy amount of accountability is always healthy to maintain a certain standard of living and safety; an excessive amount of blame is always detrimental. What are some examples where blame is harmful?
One example is when we catch ourselves always wondering if we are enduring a difficult time as a result of a sin we committed in the past. This is harmful because oftentimes it shields us from the reality of the situation at hand. Most importantly, unless we have a strong reason to believe that our situation is a natural effect of something we caused, we can rest assured that God does not operate in this fashion since we are now in Christ. [1]
Another example is if we have a constant tendency to wonder what someone did in order to deserve the situation they are in. If we meet a poor person, we wonder what they did to deserve it. If we see someone with AIDS, we wonder what kind of lifestyle they lived to lead to such a condition. While our inquiry into the cause of one's condition may help to explain some reasons why bad things happen, we still fail to be helpful or Christ-like to them. What is so unChristlike about trying to determine who is at fault or in today's idiom, "calling a spade a spade?" This will be the subject of this week's devotions.
While a healthy amount of accountability is always good, an excessive amount of blame is always detrimental.
We're all familiar with the story of The Good Samaritan. We know about the characters in the story that ignored the obvious needs of the man who was lying on the side of the road requiring medical attention. One important detail of the story often overlooked is the reason Jesus told the story. The purpose of the story was to answer a lawyer's question about who our neighbor really is. What is significant about this detail? Primarily, this detail helps us realize the main point. It doesn't matter why the guy was hurt in the ditch, whose responsibility it is to help him or what his personal connection is to us. The point is that someone else, our neighbor, needs our help.
When we recognize that this is the point, we are free to realize that the one who needs our help could be our enemy. Through this story, Jesus was saying that even our enemy is our neighbor in God's eyes. Not only that, but our enemy deserves our assistance. How could it be true that even our enemies deserve our help? It makes sense that my friends, family and even strangers deserve my help, but enemies? What gives?
Romans 5 tells us that even when we were still sinners, Christ died for us. I think sometimes we don't fully grasp what it meant that we were sinners. The fact that God regarded us as sinners means that we were His enemies. The fact that Christ died for us meant that God's response to His enemies (us) was one of compassion. In one sense, we know that He chose to do that out of His graciousness. But in another real sense, He had no other options because of His nature. It is in the nature of God to act in a merciful and compassionate way, even to His enemies.
Another familiar story that Jesus told is that of the Prodigal Son. We remember from the story that the father, who represents God, gave his youngest son his share of the estate. His son promptly left home and proceeded to squander all of it on his self-indulgent living. He finally comes to his senses and decides to come home. The father sees him and is so overwhelmed with joy upon his son's return, throws a party in honor of the good news. The elder son didn't appreciate such a warm welcome for his foolish younger brother and complains, "I've been…."
What's at issue here? Remember whom Jesus is talking to. The teachers of the law were upset that Jesus was treating sinners with compassion and blowing them off. One can only imagine what the religious right was thinking: "We deserved Jesus' attention because of our behavior and those other people had made their own bed!" So to address their complaints, Jesus tells them the story of the Prodigal Son. Jesus point was simple. Everyone falls short. Some fall more than others. God offers His compassion to everyone. If we claim to know God, so should we. Figuring out who deserves what is simply a big waste of time.
God offers His compassion to everyone and so should we.
One of the most Christ-like things we will ever do is to forgive. This is constantly the biggest issue for Christians, whether they are novices or more mature in their faith. I would not hesitate to say that where there is strife in a relationship, at the heart of things is the issue of unforgiveness. Why is that? Among all the reasons we could give, I want to focus on two of the larger reasons for this. We will look at the first reason today and the second reason tomorrow.
If we have a hard time forgiving other people, it means that we believe that there is something in us that deserves God's love. Therefore, we have short-circuited our ability to fully experience the undeserved and outrageous love that God lavishes upon us.
We most likely have gone through extended periods of time where God's love has seemed absent from our lives because we are in a rut or we have behaved in a way that is unbecoming. So we've punished ourselves in some way, because after all we don't deserve His love.
When we treat other people by withholding our love from them or in fact punishing them, we are only treating them as we treat ourselves. In our worldview, this is the way it works. When we are obedient and living in God's will, He loves us. When we are disobedient and unfaithful, He withholds His love and blessing. A + B = C.
Thank God that there is a better way! While there are still consequences and accountability born out of love, [2] love never fails us, [3] even through our own mistakes. When we are at our worst, God is at His best. We do not continue in our sin willfully, [4] but we do rejoice in the fact that when we sin, grace is right there to meet us.
Have we fully realized how deeply loved we are even in our deepest failure? Have we grasped how pleased God is with His children that are in Christ Jesus? Have we marveled in our acceptance? Or do we choose to use our love as a manipulative tool to get what we want—giving it when people do what we want and withholding it when they don't? Have we shown others our displeasure and disgust simply because they have disappointed us? Have we held back our acceptance because we're afraid of what would happen if we gave it away?
Today is a wonderful day to decide to agree with God. Today is the perfect time to freely receive God's grace and freely give it away as well. Perhaps today will be one of the first times you don't wait until someone asks for, earns or merits your love and acceptance before you give it. If so, rejoice in knowing that you are on your way to being "perfect, as Your heavenly Father is perfect," who "brings rain for the just and the unjust."
This may or may not be an issue of semantics. But before we get into that, let's ask ourselves a question. Who really has the authority to forgive sin? Consider the following interaction between Jesus and the teachers of the law:
A few days later, when Jesus again entered Capernaum, the people heard that he had come home. So many gathered that there was no room left, not even outside the door, and he preached the word to them. Some men came, bringing to him a paralytic, carried by four of them. Since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus and, after digging through it, lowered the mat the paralyzed man was lying on. When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, "Son, your sins are forgiven."
Now some teachers of the law were sitting there, thinking to themselves, "Why does this fellow talk like that? He's blaspheming! Who can forgive sins but God alone?"
Immediately Jesus knew in his spirit that this was what they were thinking in their hearts, and he said to them, "Why are you thinking these things? Which is easier: to say to the paralytic, 'Your sins are forgiven,' or to say, 'Get up, take your mat and walk'? But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins …." He said to the paralytic, "I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home." He got up, took his mat and walked out in full view of them all. This amazed everyone and they praised God, saying, "We have never seen anything like this!" [5]
What's at issue here? The issue is about who has the authority to truly forgive sins. Clearly Jesus agreed that a regular person does not have that kind of authority. So Jesus proceeded to show everyone that He's not just a normal person, but He is God. The lesson: Only God can forgive sin. This principle has implications for those of us who find it difficult to let things go.
At the very least, I must learn that it is not my initial responsibility to try to find it within myself to forgive the wrongs another person may have committed against me. This job is God's first. David gets it right when he says to the LORD, "Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are proved right when you peak and justified when you judge." [6] We must remember that we weren't the only person offended by the actions of this other person. We aren't even the one who is most offended.
Once we've fully grasped this idea, we must move to the next step of prayer. What should we pray? When Jesus was being mistreated and abused, He prayed a prayer for his enemies: "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." [7] When Stephen, a leader in the early church, was literally beat to death with large stones, he "prayed, 'Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.' And he fell to his knees, shouting, 'Lord, don't charge them with this sin!'" [8]
What does this mean for us? What does their example show us? Jesus and Stephen show us how to properly handle mistreatment“give it to God. Do we think that we are enduring something—a slight or an abuse—then we need to ask God to forgive the offense. As we learn to leave forgiveness in the hands of God, the only thing we need to do is to come to agree with God. How do we do this? We do it in faith. We say, "If God forgives them, then I agree with Him." What if we don't feel like we have forgiven them? We repeat, "I know God forgives them, and I agree with Him." This will stop any and all attempts at playing the blame game.
If God forgives them, then I agree with Him.
One child, six-year-old Ruby Bridges, was the sole African-American student at her school, which meant that for a long period she was the only student of any race attending that school. For weeks she had to be escorted by federal marshals as she walked through a gauntlet of angry citizens who unleashed malicious verbal assaults-assaults that sought not only to wound this little girl, but to incite anger in her heart.
The bait was never taken, though. Ruby Bridges approached her school, and the crowds, without anger. Instead, a calm, serene spirit blanketed her every step.
One day, her teacher saw her mouthing words as she passed the lines of angry, abusive white parents. When the teacher reported this to child psychiatrist Robert Coles, who was working in a New Orleans hospital, he became curious. What had the little girl said?
When asked, Ruby said she'd been praying for the parents of her white classmates.
Coles was perplexed, "But why?"
"Because they need praying for," she answered. She had heard in church about Jesus' dying words, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." This was the Spirit's deeper truth being spoken to a human heart
.This little girl decided to take God's truth to heart. We can do likewise if we so choose. [9]
How do we get to the point where the story of Ruby Bridges is not so heroic? Or, in other words, shouldn't it just be normal that a Christian would have this sort of love in their hearts? Shouldn't the abnormal occasion be that we would not respond in kind?
What would it take for us to get to this point? Let's begin with the two items we've discussed this week in regard to blame. First, allow God to love us with His extraordinary and gracious love. Second, give the offenses that others have committed against us to God instead of keeping them for ourselves. If we can learn these two things and learn them well; we will join the ranks of Stephen, Ruby Bridges and even Christ.
Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.